Should I let my children see me in the change room or not?

Should I let my children see me in the change room or not?

So do you dangle your nasty bits out in front of your kids? Another passionate debate between parents. The two distinct camps sound roughly like this: “I am totally comfortable with my body and want my child to learn that humans are perfect and beautiful just as nature made them” The other camp says: “kids don’t need to see that shit”. Both sides are absolutely convinced of their righteous position and stand by it. So to find us all an answer, I checked the parenting manual that we get on how to raise kids. Surprisingly there isn’t a rule on that… in fact, there isn’t a fricken manual. A friend of mine told me that she had never let her kids see her nude, and then her daughter went swimming with another family, and the mother stripped down in front of all the kids. My friend was appalled at the assumption of nudie Mom that it is ok to just show her fur to another child. The nudie Mom probably never gave it a second thought. Awkward. When kids are little, many parents are comfortable being naked with their (usually same gender) offspring. For many people, that all stops at the exact moment their little precious learns to speak and describes the frank and beans to his preschool class. When parents get a boy baby and wonder if they should clip the handle a smidge or not, the nurse kindly will say “You want him to look like his father”. To which I say… why would he know what his Father’s dink looks like? Maybe because we are supposed to be naked with our kids? If so, why or why not? When preteen time starts there is nothing as mortifying as a sparsely clothed parent. This is an excellent weapon of mass embarrassment if you want to keep control of an errant teen. “Keep being mouthy and I will show up at your dance class wearing a visible thong and a belly shirt”. Instant obedience. You may be one of those nudists carrying a towel around so as not to leave a personal print on leather furniture, or the three layer cover up type of parent, but either way take comfort in the fact that somebody out there disagrees with you, or is horrified by your choice. Oh, and no matter how comfortable you are with your body, the rest of us don’t need to see that shit. Use the change room. (Hey… did this post make you think? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment) Also find me on Blunt Moms and Huffington...
Peri-Menopause deep thoughts and questions

Peri-Menopause deep thoughts and questions

It is time to have the conversation. Peri-Menopause – it is that delightful time of life when the cheese starts to slide off your cracker and you can’t remember where your damn glasses are to find where it landed on the floor. A curator of great information on this topic has asked me to consider some of the burning issues of Peri-menopause. When the editors of Menopause Chicks need answers, Magnolia is on the job. These 6 things are of critical importance girls. As a public service, you are going to get some straight up advice. 1. What does aging gracefully mean to you? It means not being so desperate to remain 25 that you walk around looking like time traveller. The 80’s are over and you didn’t just land here in a DeLorean so you have no excuse for those jeans girlfriend. And just because you can jam yourself into a tube top doesn’t mean you should. Now, just to be clear, I am not one for suggesting that people turning 50 should exclusively shop at the “mother of the bride” dress shop. I am just saying always choose classy over revealing. Fitted versus tight. And if you have a left over tramp stamp or wear a lacy thong, well just don’t. Nobody needs to see that. Trying too hard smells of desperation, and inevitably ends up in a train wreck of matronly tummy hiding, billowy dresses and crass low-cut necklines. You are not a drag queen, don’t shop at their store. 2. What do you think when you look in the mirror and see your face and body changing due to age? I think “how the hell did my Mother get into my bathroom???”  Next topic. 3. What do you think the advantages are of being older? Oh my darlings, being older is so much fun. There is nothing like the skill and confidence of ladies over a certain age. We are master level flirts, and for the most part, finished with drama. We can embrace that which we want, rather than what is foisted upon us. The 25 year old young women around us might have gravity on their side, but they have no idea how to rock a pair of 6 inch wedges the way we do. They also can’t get through a sentence without using the word “like” 15 times. In business, romance and evolution, we have it going on. And as the proverb says: “old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill” I would hope that most “older” gals have stopped giving a crap what other people think. 4. To gray or not to gray? I envy the ladies who have gone ultra white and own it with a fabulous cut and modern glasses....
Are your kids being run into the ground with all the busy?

Are your kids being run into the ground with all the busy?

People piss and moan about how busy they are with their kids. I want to talk about that. First let me say, this post is not for the families that have to work multiple jobs to keep the roof up, or for people with special needs kids who are run off their feet medically or rebuilding a broken child. This is for typical families that are running themselves into the ground to serve their children up to the altar of ambition and achievement. Kids are so highly scheduled these days that they are hardly given the chance to be little heathen free wheeling discovery monsters that they are meant to be. If you are shoving a snack or a bag of fast food into your child’s gob running from soccer to dance 4 nights a week, you need to stop for a minute. What exactly are you teaching your kids? Are we training them to busy, ambitious, driven and regimented in order to prepare them for life? Or are we telling them that is what life is? Does your 7 year old really have to specialize in Celtic dance, or violin or hockey? What does it do for them to have 5am practices on Sundays if you have to drag them there? Is your child actually so highly motivated or are they somehow channelling what you want? What about the money? And it is A LOT of money. When I ask people why their kid plays on multiple teams 6 nights a week, and spends weekends and holidays at tournaments, I get a the same answers. “We do it as a family”, or “he made the team”. I just kind of wonder what the driving force is. It could well be that the child is in control of that, but who knows. In Canada, it is about hockey. Everybody thinks their kid is going to make the NHL. If you read the stats, you can safely assume that they won’t. In fact, according to the book Outliers, unless your kid is born in the first three months of the year, the chances drop to “powerball lottery winner” level odds. The physical checks need to be done as well. In our school, there are 11 year old girls who need physiotherapy on their knees from soccer. When is it too much? I know exactly ONE parent who had their son make the all glorious “rep” team. She said “Nah, he can play local so we can have a life”. He got over it, she saved $5000 and the world didn’t end. I know that some countries take tiny little kids and put them into Olympic track training and they perform...